"A grinder and paint makes you the welder you ain't."

"Italian grandmas have nothing on aluminum spaghetti"

"Oh, and we can only order in $1000 bulk... or $3000 bulk for the better option:

"I'm pretty sure necromancy would be the opposite of an OSHA violation..."

"I don't have a car, I have Pop-tarts"

(not sponsored)

"Also why is my quote the only actual applicable quote and not a funny one"

"Do I look like I know how any of this works?"

"The kids build the robot, I just do the paperwork."